Saturday, June 27, 2009

Got to Love Milton

While I don't like Paul Sullivan too much, this post isn't about him sucking as much as it is about Milton Bradly being hilarious.

The Cubs say the Milton Bradley-Lou Piniella incident is over and it's time to move on.

This is referring to the incident which occurred the other day in which Lou Piniella called Milton a piece of shit, after Milton did his best Zambrano impression.

Milton Bradley spoke to Cubs beat reporters before Saturday’s game and confirmed that manager Lou Piniella called him a "piece of [expletive]" during their confrontation Friday at U.S. Cellular Field.

The expletive used was shit. Just in case you couldn't figure it out.

"The last time someone called me a piece of [expletive] I tore my ACL," Bradley said, referring to an argument with umpire Mike Winters at the end of the 2007 season. "So, I mean, I've learned how to deal with that. I'm fine. You know, it's Lou Piniella.

Well, your first statement does not make it seem like you are "fine" with being called a piece of shit. By the way, the fact that Milton tearing his ACL is only in my top 5 Milton Bradley moments, instead of being unanimously number 1, speaks volumes about his character. I also like the 'you know, it's Lou Piniella' line. Everyone understands that he is drunk 90% of the time, so no one really takes offense to the things he says.

"To me, Lou Piniella is somebody.

That is a good start to this quote. I like that Sullivan used a period here. Was he trying to make Milton sound less intelligent? He doesn't really need to do that.

If its a motivating tactic and he's taking a different switch since people are saying he didn't have fire, then I understand. I take a lot of heed in what he has to say. It matters. I take it to heart and I'm better for it."

I'm glad Milton takes a lot of 'heed' in things Lou says. People he also takes lots of 'heed' in what they say: Al Sharpton, Carl Everett, Chad Ocho Cinco, and this guy.

Bradley said he was shocked by Piniella's reaction. Piniella said he told Bradley not to throw his helmet anymore, before Bradley threw down the Gatorade cooler and everything "just exploded all over the place."

"It's just wasted energy," Piniella said.

I think that cooler was the one that was holding Lou's gin. Also, we all know what happens when Milton really wants to waste his energy. You thought I was going to go somewhere else with that clip didn't you?

Bradley's version was less descriptive.

Because Bradley may be the least articulate person alive.

"But I told him it wasn't right, and I apologized for it," he said. "But I also told him that we just can't continue to have the shenanigans that we've put up with it.

If one more person says shenanigans...

Has Bradley been singled out for something that teammates Carlos Zambrano, Ryan Dempster and Carlos Marmol have also done?

Its been a bad year for the Cubs' cooler.

"Like I've said, I don't have the same set of rules as other people,"

Clearly because he is way more badass, and badasses don't follow the same rules as you peasants. If Milton Bradley wants to murder strippers, then he will fucking murder a fucking stripper.

"No man, I don't have a problem with Lou at all," he said. "It's hard for me to get upset with a teammate. And he's the manager, so he's more than a teammate. Initially, I was just kind of shocked at how everything just kind of happened suddenly."

Sullivan didn't even bother writing anything for this column. Seriously, go back through and read the whole thing. He actually writes like 6 lines. There are too many great quotes. Which is why I truly believe Milton Bradley is my favorite Chicago athlete.

"I think Lou told me [Jim Hendry] he apologized to Milton," he said. "In the heat of the battle, I think we've all said some things we wish we hadn't, and those are things that usually stay in the clubhouse."

He thinks Lou told him he apologized to Milton? I guess it can be hard for people to understand Lou, he is slurring his speach, and muttering aimlessly most of the time.

The Cubs are concerned over alleged leaking of the confrontation between Bradley and Lou Piniella by White Sox security. The Sox are denying the accusations. Is Bradley upset it was leaked?

O man, Sullivan finally decides to write something!!!! (Count it 4 exclaimation points. I was very excited) Unfortunately, Sullivan uses the typical Chicago writer cop out and blames the leaked story on the Cubs-Sox hatred of each other. (Notice in that link the author uses the word agronomist. Good touch) That's great reporting Sully.

"Usually people who work in clubhouses don't quote things to reporters," he said. "That's part of [their] job. Players say things every day that no one would want to read in the papers -- managers, coaches. It's part of the game. If you're going to have some kind of an exchange like that, there are going to be swear words, and there's going to probably be regrets. As long as the two men hash it out together that's what's important, and you move on."

Aparently, Sully didn't wantto do any actual writing to meet his word limit, so he decided to add another meaningless quote.

"My head is fine," he said. "I've never had a problem with it. Sometimes I react bad to things, but I'm an extremely intelligent individual, I like to think, and I don't see why my head wouldn't be clear."

This is my new all time favorite Milton Bradly quote. SOMETIMES HE REACTS BAD TO THINGS!!!!! (5 exclaimation points this time) I believe I have clipped enough material to show that it is not an "isolated incident" (Take that Geovny Soto). I'm not even going to argue with his assumption he is an intelligent individual.


  1. Totally unrelated but is Gordon Beckham's walk up to the plate music "Your love" by The Outfield?