Monday, June 29, 2009

YSSW Obvious Steroids User of the Week: Brady Anderson

I almost feel bad writing about this because A.) I still consider myself an Orioles fan and B.) saying Brady Anderson did steroids would be like saying Cooly is fat. Everyone knows it, and it's mean to point it out. But, we ran out of material for today and Cooly let me write, so here goes. As always, YSSW believes everyone is innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.

So...Brady Anderson, played in the Major Leagues from 1988 to 2002, all but 75 games of it as the Orioles Center Fielder.

I hear that one of the most effective methods of teaching is through visual stimuli, so let's look at some pictures to get my point across.

Exhibit A, Anderson's card from 1989, his first full season with the Orioles:

This season, a very average looking Brady played in 94 games for the Orioles, hitting .207 and slugging in 4 HRs and 16 RBIs. Lame.

Exhibit B, Brady Anderson in the mid-90s:
Through 1995, Anderson had 73 home runs credited to his name, playing most of those seasons in hitter-friendly Camden Yards (Griffey hit the fucking warehouse behind right field in the 93 HR Derby there). Then, in 1996, he came back a little bigger, a little stronger, and blasted MOTHERFUCKING 50 HOME RUNS. For those of you math whiz's out there, that's more than 2/3 of his total power production in one season.

This occurrence is so obviously shadowed by questionable activity that it's only mentioned in passing in the great history book of Orioles franchise history, aka Cal Ripken Jr., My Story, a 1999 autobiography of the Iron Man that is written for 3rd graders, or at least written at a 3rd grade level:

"The Orioles, after so many years of frustration, became contenders again that year. We won the American League wild card race, setting the major league record for home runs in a season. Brady Anderson hit an amazing fifty all by himself. We beat Cleveland in the playoffs before losing to the Yankees."

You can tell Cal knew what was up when he wrote those simplified sentences. Cal couldn't snitch on his boy, but he couldn't write anything else to explain how/why Brady could have hit all those home runs for just one season, much like how Reggie Bush can't explain how/why his family has a free house.

Alas, Anderson's power surge didn't last. From 97-02 he hit 88 HRs, spiking with 24 in 1999. Perhaps he should have kept up with the 'roids, because '96-97 were the last two seasons the Orioles even sniffed making the postseason, except in 2005 when they led the AL East for half a season; mostly led by the slugging of this guy, and this guy, and Brian Roberts, also of Mitchell Report fame.

Although I bet that poster of Anderson sold well amongst the ladies of the Mid-Atlantic U.S. And I'm sure he's a nice guy, I mean, look, he'll give any girl a chance.

Dave's note: After looking more at the the 2005 Orioles lineup, YSSW will be set with Obvious Steroids User of the Week posts for months. Forgot about Tejada (like I forget about most Astros players), Bigbie, and Jay Gibbons.

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