Tuesday, July 14, 2009

2009 YSSW Midseason Awards Feat. Special Guest

That's right, tonight is the All Star Game. Last time I checked, I believe that the most of my picks made it to the game, beating out everyone else. Although, Dave did pick a dead shortstop, so my victory was inevitable.

Being a baseball blog, we have to have our obligatory midseason awards. Plus, we will have our picks for the postseason since we missed the beginning of the 2009 campaign. However, you will see that some of us forgot to make these picks... Zach... or any at all... Okapi. But this post will leave evidence of our terrible picks that you can use against Dave and I in the future.

I know that you got really excited to find out who our special guest for the column will be. Peter Gammons? No. Although commenter Kevin could have invited him for us. Bill Plaschke? Of course not. Instead, our guest is one of the respected heroes of us here at Start Wedman... none other than T-Pain!


AL MVP - Torii Hunter. He has been on an absolute tear thiis year. Ii typiically hate Torii, but Ii cannot argue wiith the year he has put up.
NL MVP - Umm, there is that one guy. He hits a lot of home runs. And gets a base hit whenever the fuck he wants. And has a Fernando Tatis amount of grand slams this year. And that one pitcher with the mole is terrified of him. O yea, Albert Pujols. Brad Lidge, MOLE. Fuck.
AL Cy Young - Zack Greinke. He has been very good. But I hate him. And he spells his name poorly.
NL Cy Young - Tim Lincecum. I’m picking him over Haren because Lincecum has more strike outs, and will keep his current pace of being awesome up this entire year.
AL Rookie of the Year - Ricky Romero. He is dirty.
NL Rookie of the Year - Colby Rasmus. Someone in the Cardinals roster has to hit besides Pujols. MOLE!

**Editors Note** Ok, I (Zach) forgot to do this part, but come on. Cooly sent me an email to get my picks in like 2 weeks ago. And I'm lazy as shit. Cut me a break

AL East- Red Sox
AL Central- White Sox. I am plagued by my biases.
AL West- Rangers. They can hit home runs. Not so much pitch well.
AL Wildcard- Rays. I don't know why I like them, but I do.

NL East-
Phillies. MOLE!
NL Central- Cardinals. I fucking hate the Cubs.
NL West- Dodgers.
NL Wildcard- Brewers. I made a bet in the begining of the year that the Giants would suck and not make the playoffs. Clearly I was wrong, but how could I have called this guy being good?


NL MVP - Albert Pujols
AL MVP - Joe Mauer
NL Rookie of the Year - Randy Wells
AL Rookie of the Year - Brad Bergesen

Apparently, Dave does not believe anyone deserves Cy Youngs this year since Cy himself is still the best pitcher ever. Just imagine if the MVP was named after Honus Wagner. Good thing he made a pick for everything else...

Breakout Player - Zack Greinke
Underachieving team of the year / most likely to file for Chapter 11 in order to expedite sale of team - Chicago Cubs
Biggest FA signing bust - Milton Bradley
Drunkest Manager - Lou Piniella
Hoodest player - tie between Lastings Milledge and Nyjer Morgan
Hoodest trade - Lastings Milledge to Pittsburgh for Nyjer Morgan
Most irrelevant trade - Lastings Milledge to Pittsburgh for Nyjer Morgan
Most lopsided trade - Ryan Church to Atlanta for Jeff Francoeur
Most likely to trade away entire team by July 31st - Baltimore Orioles/Arizona Diamondbacks/San Diego Padres/Oakland Athletics
Least likely to trade anybody - Boston Red Sox
Most likely to reap benefits of trade deadline bonanza - Philadelphia Phillies
Most likely to generate the most talk about trading for sweet players but won't actually pull the trigger - Chicago Bulls, err, White Sox
Team with roster most likely to resemble guys profiled on To Catch a Predator due to recent facial hair grooming - St. Louis Cardinals

Postseason Picks:

AL East - Boston Red Sox
AL Central - Minnesota Twins
AL West - LA Angels of Anaheim
AL Wild Card - New York Yankees
NL East - Philadelphia Phillies
NL Central - Chicago Cubs
NL West - LA Dodgers
NL Wild Card - San Francisco Giants

World Series -
Phillies over Red Sox in 7, 5 if they trade for Roy Halladay and sign Pedro (and Pedro is still any good)

** Editor's Note** Okapi's late picks arrived in my mailbox around 3:00 PM CST... only two days late. Good thing we don't run a legit publication.


AL MVP – Evan Longoria. I know he’s in some sort of mini-slump and all, but I just don’t see anyone competing with him by the end of it. If David Ortiz continues to be a member of the living dead and hit home-runs maybe he can get ½ and MVP.
NL MVP - Albert Pujols. It’s not even remotely close.
AL Cy Young - Zack Greinke. [insert something creative here]
NL Cy Young - Tim Lincecum. Something tells me it won’t be his last, either.
AL Rookie of the Year & NL Rookie of the Year – I claim ignorance on both of these.

Postseason Picks:

AL East – Boston Red Sox. I think the Yankees will choke on their major acquisitions as they have for the past decade, now. They just don’t get that you can’t just buy the best players of last year and regularly win World Series. Farm systems actually work. And I think the re-emergence of Ortiz, Youk’s preposterous season thus far, and the pitching staff is just too much to overcome.
AL Central – I know I’m bias, but I really think the White Sox will be able to put something together. Call it a last gasp for guys like Konerko and Thome and Contreras (sending him down was an incredibly good idea). Getting Colon out of there is necessary, and I think you’ll see Beckham really settle down. I still think Minnesota is missing something, though I can’t put my finger on what, and the Tigers are bound to screw up at some point in time.
AL West – Seattle Mariners. They actually look really dangerous right now. I’m with Cooly on the Angels’ age and I just don’t fully believe in the Rangers quite yet in the long haul, but I think there’s a good thing going on in Seattle.
AL Wild Card – Tampa Bay Rays. They’ll catch the Yankees, or the Yankees will fall off the map. Either way, I think the Rays just have a little more energy and a little less pressure to perform well. The Trop is a better stadium, anyway.
NL East – Philadelphia Phillies. Not for any real reason besides the fact that I don’t want to see the Marlins become the team that not anyone – even Florida – cares about win the World Series for the third time.
NL Central - St. Louis Cardinals. I think it’ll be very close, thanks to St. Louis’ sweet (terrible) offense and the fact that Joe Thurston is on the team, but the Cubs have too much pressure and problems to overcome (including a senile manager), and we’re starting to see the Brewers have a bit of a problem. In the end, I think Pujols just wills his team to win.
NL West – The Arizona Padres. If you combine them, maybe they’re in the hunt for third in the west. But the Dodgers have kind of run away with it.
NL Wild Card - San Francisco Giants. I know they’re far behind, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the division race actually gets pretty close between them and the Dodgers. Actually, the way they’ve been playing, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re the NL dark horse for the World Series spot.


Joe Mauer. He kind of wins by default because there is no run away winner right now, in my mind. Jason Bay could have won it, but he's batting .260. Evan Longoria also could have won, but he inexplicably slipped from his 225 RBI pace. I have a feeling that either Longoria or Bay will be winning this by the end of the year.
Albert Pujols. Of course.
AL Cy Young - Zack Greinke. Let the man crush picks continue.
NL Cy Young - Tim Lincecum. If Dan Haren's team didn't suck so much ass, he would have won. Unforunately for him, Josh Byrnes is in the running for worst GM. On the bright side, the team shed about 450 lbs. and two years in average team age on Sunday.
AL Rookie of the Year - Rick Porcello. He is younger than Stephen Strasburg. Plus, he has proven he can pitch in the majors and doesn't bitch as much. Suck it, Natinals.
NL Rookie of the Year - Colby Rasmus. At least he will make the departure of Rick in the offseason feel a little bit better.

Postseason Picks:

AL East -
Tampa Bay Rays. Yes, I know they are currently 6.5 games out. But I have a feeling about this team. They grind, they steal, they rely on youngsters with hype. They are Billy Beane's nightmare.
AL Central - Detroit Tigers. They win the title of best loser.
AL West - Texas Rangers. I just don't see the Angels holding up with all of those old dudes.
AL Wild Card - New York Yankees. Theo Epstein really doesn't want to trade one of his 18 quality pitchers for a bat for no apparent reason. In the end, the Yankees pull out the Wild Card while having nine dudes hit 20 homers in their little league stadium.
NL East - Florida Marlins. Of course, this completely changes if the Phils pull the trigger for Halladay. But without Halladay, I see the Marlins with their rotation that is constantly plugging in random dudes like the Jays winning the division over a Phillies team that wishes they still had Adam Eaton just to chew up innings.
NL Central - St. Louis Cardinals. When I saw this team at the beginning of the year, I thought they would take this division since the Cubs were destined to choke after trading away DeRosa and replacing him with Bradley. If we acquire another arm (we are in the Halladay talks), we win this division by at least a dozen games.
NL West - LA Dodgers. Obvious.
NL Wild Card - San Francisco Giants. I don't know why, but I like this team. I think they have a good chance at taking this playoff spot, barely squeaking by the Phillies and Brewers.

World Series - Cards over the Rays in 4. That's right, I called a sweep. In fact, I think the Cards win the Series by going 12-0 in the playoffs. 'Stache power!

T-PAIN'S PICKS & AWARDS (imagine the auto-tune)

Carl Crawford... ooo... he has a neck tattooooooo.
NL MVP - Hanley Ramirez... he's so hood.
AL Cy Young - Edwin Jackson
NL Cy Young - Javier Vazquez
AL Rookie of the Year - David Price... I don't give a fuck if he sucks... ooo...
NL Rookie of the Year - Jordan Schafer... ooo... same as David Price

Postseason Picks:

AL East -
Tampa Bay Rays
AL Central -
Detroit Tigers
AL West - Seattle Mariners
AL Wild Card - New York Yankees
NL East - Atlanta Braves
NL Central - St. Louis Cardinals
NL West - LA Dodgers
NL Wild Card - Philadelphia Phillies... ooo... this is for my girl...

World Series - Braves over the Rays... ooo... I can't believe it...

I just wanted a post that incorporated the T-Swift and T-Pain video. Thanks for joining us T-Pain, good luck with your picks.


  1. I like how T-Pain's division winner picks are all the teams that have the hoodest logos (although I'd go Pittsburgh in NL Central). My pick for Cy Young is Old Hoss Radbourn.

  2. Dave, what are you talking about? St. Louis has a way more hood logo than the Pirates.

    Tell me these don't look hood:

  3. I'm pretty sure we all know the Po is the most hood place on earth:


  4. Shittiness of team plays into hood factor, that's why NWA always wore Sox hats.