Wednesday, July 1, 2009

A Fruitless Trip

As you may have seen, Carpenter was dominated last night. Even in my sloshy state, I was able understand that he gave a up hit to pretty much every batter he faced last night. Oh well. At least Pujols jacked two homers last night.

I was unable to return with my DeRosa jersey shirt because apparently they have not printed/shipped them yet. However, there was a plethora of #12 Freese shirts for the having. I passed.

When I couldn't find the DeRosa shirt myself in the team store, I approached a young female worker there in hopes of being directed to a display full of DeRosa items. We had the following conversation:

Me - Do you have DeRosa shirts in yet?
Her - No, we don't.
Me - Well, I will be here again Thursday, will you have them then?
Her - I don't know.
Me - Well, that sucks, I really wanted one.
Her - Lots of people have been saying that. (She then went on some rant about how they have a lot of store exclusive things there that couldn't be bought online or anywhere else if I would like something)
Me - Unless the DeRosa shirts are exclusive and in stock, I don't want anything, thank you.
Her - Sorry, sir. Maybe there is a chance they will be in on Thursday.
Me - Hopefully. You know, you would have thought they would have been producing these things weeks ago since he has been in trade talks for so long.
Her - Haha, yeah.
Me - I mean, don't they read MLB Trade Rumors?
Her - Umm...

This is why I can't get laid.


  1. That's not the only reason

  2. Please use 'last night' more in your first paragraph.

    Signed: Grammar Police

  3. No. You don't get laid because random girls having birthday parties in New York don't have pointless conversations with you.

  4. 1. Fuck you Zach, I wrote this shit stream of consciousness style like James Joyce.

    2. Okapi, I hate you for always having openings to easily get laid.