Sunday, July 19, 2009

An Idiot Thinks Ted Lilly is Good

I hate Ted Lilly. He is one of my most hated current baseball players. I currently have a lifetime bet that if Ted Lilly ever throws a no hitter I will have to degrade myself in some way. I was very happy when he went to the Cubs, because I enjoy the Cubs being miserable. One bad thing happened though, Ted Lilly started pitching well. This absolutely crushed me. (When I searched Ted Lilly on the Google, Jason Marquis came up as a related search. This made me laugh. Then, hate him more.)

However, this jamoke feels as if the Yankees made a mistake by not reacquiring him:

Twice this decade, the Yankees made their feelings clear regarding Ted Lilly.

I wonder how I can make my feelings more clear on Ted Lilly. I don't even really know why I don't like him. It may be because he is a soft tossing lefty. It may be because he has played for the Yankees and Cubs. It may be because I believe Billy Beane hates him, and I will do whatever Billy Beane tells me to do.

In July 2002, they chose Jeff Weaver over Lilly, as Weaver came from Detroit to New York and Lilly went from New York to Oakland in a three-way trade. And during the 2006-07 offseason, Brian Cashman chose Kei Igawa over Lilly in the free-agent market.

2002 Statistics for Jeff Weaver: 199.2 IP, 11 Wins, 3.52 ERA, 2.75 K/BB, 1.21 WHIP, .291 BAIBP (not unlucky or lucky), 44% Ground Ball Rate

2002 Stats for Ted Lilly: 100 IP, 5 Wins, 3.69 ERA, 2.48 K/BB, 1.11 WHIP, .241 BAIBP (very lucky), 33.9% Ground Ball Rate

So the stats say that Weaver threw more innings, Lilly was much luckier (stats would be inflated), and Weaver threw many more ground balls than Lilly. Unfortunately, Brain Cashman was not blessed with hindsight, which this writer clearly had, but the decision to bring in Weaver over Lilly seems like a decent one statistically. Ted Lilly's numbers were not any good in the years following the deal either. Unfortunately for the Yankees, Weaver's were much worse.

Weaver did win the clinching game of the 2006 World Series for St. Louis, but in general, he has been a significant disappointment. Igawa, meanwhile, probably could be elected mayor of Scranton, given the extensive time he has spent at the Yankees' Triple-A outpost.

I cannot defend the signing of Kei Igawa. It was an overreaction to the Red Sox bringing in Dice-K. But it was not a foregone conclusion that the Yankees would sign Ted Lilly in 2007. I mean there were other clubs in the league, that may have wanted Lilly's services for some reason.

Lilly? He has been a classic, reliable innings-eater - worth, so far, the $40 million the Cubs committed to him from 2007 through next year. Last week, he picked up another honor when he made his second All-Star team.

He was not perfectly reliable until he got to the Cubs. Before he got there in 2007 he was wallowing in sucktitude, posting ERA's of 4.34 (in pitcher friendly Oakland), 4.06, 5.56, 4.31 from 2003-2006. All while pitching 200 IP 0 times. How could you call this an innings eater. In fact, the only good numbers he has put up in his career are the numbers he accumulated with the Cubs. This is no doubt because of his move to the much weaker hitting NL. Thank you lack of DH rule. Also, he was only elected an All-Star this year as a default, because the Cubs had no other candidates. He currently has a 51% fly ball rate (highest of his career) this year. Imagine that in New Yankee Stadium.

I didn't even mention that the Cubs severly overpaid for Lilly's production with that $40 million deal, but they did. Take my word for it.

Surely the Yankees have regrets about their decisions. Lilly - who gave the Yankees every chance to sign him for '07 and beyond - has none.

Moving to the NL, a great career move for all pitchers. Just ask CC Sabathia. You wonder why Jake Peavy urinated himself when hearing about his deal to the White Sox.

"I'm very lucky to be playing in a city like Chicago," Lilly, 33, said in St. Louis earlier this week. "And on top of that, an organization that's doing everything they can to win. New York is the same way. I have no regrets, and I think that the way it turned out, I'm very, very fortunate."

(Lilly counting his bills laughing at the joke that the NL hitting was for the past 4 years)

But even if Lilly went down for a while, he still has given his employers - the Athletics, Blue Jays and Cubs - plenty over the past seven years.

Um, no. He only pitched well for the Cubs. Who are in the NL. He got kicked around like a murdered stripper in the AL.

And all Yankees fans have is some distant memories of the potential that Lilly displayed in 2001 and 2002. Lilly fondly recalls that same period, during which he put up a 4.61 ERA in 1971/3 innings.

Jeff Weaver actually had a slightly better ERA+ than Lilly 92 compared to 96. Both approximately league average. But both pitchers were approximately the same age, and Weaver was much more of a strike out pitcher than Lilly, and had a lot more innings pitched than Lilly. But remember, Lilly is an innings eater.

If Lilly rather than Igawa had joined the 2007 Yankees, then Torre - who served as a coach of Lilly's National League squad Tuesday night - might still be managing the Yankees.

Ted Lilly decides the fate of baseball legends. You didn't know that! You clearly have never stared into Lilly's powerful eyes. Ted Lilly's other accomplishments:

Encouraging Hank Aaron to start hitting home runs
Injecting every player from 1995-2005 with steroids
Sending Josh Hamilton to rehab
Asking Michael Wuertz to only throw sliders
Telling Michael Vick dog fighting is a great business adventure
Projected accomplishments: Ending world hunger

That's actually the end of the article. I'm serious. No really. He just ended it with that out of left field Torre reference. Why was this column even written. The world may never know


Jeff "The Dream" Weaver Smokes Pot

But seriously, read the entire link under "Weaver" its hilarious.

And one of the quotes in one of these articles is
"A flight attendant claimed in her lawsuit that former Tigers pitcher Jeff Weaver used marijuana in the plane’s restroom and watched hard-core porn on a laptop computer during flights on the team plane." That is why Cooly was mad at me for not including this.


  1. Is this haterade flowing from Zach because the White Sox's former Yankee starting pitcher, Contreras, gave up four earned, four walks, and five hits in 4.1 IP to the last place Orioles today? I think so.

  2. What is this shit?!?!?!

    A Jeff Weaver mentioning without any reference to weed?

    I thought we were better than that here at YSSW.

  3. FIXED! Sorry about that gaffe. I will be better in the future.


    Fast forward to the 45 second mark and you will view the high point in the career of Jeffrey Weaver as he beats the living piss out of Mike Sweeney. This moment is obviously the high point in a career full of drugs, alcohol, and plus five ERA's.

  5. Let's not forget that Weaver's career also includes one more World Series ring than Lilly's... or any other Cub.

    Thanks for fixing this article Zach. I had no idea about that lawsuit until now. It makes me feel better about when I watch all of my Gianna Michaels videos while jetsetting.

  6. Also... OH MY GOD... go to the 1:00 mark on the video Grbac left. Look at Chan Ho's Bruce Lee impression.

  7. You are allowed to punch a hooker in the face. Its like part of what you pay for.