Monday, July 20, 2009

Obvious Steroids User 7/20/09


ELLIS BURKS

I was originally going to do this post on Milton Bradley (no one can be that angry all the time and constantly get injured without doing roids, right?), but one of his 2002 Indians teammates caught my eye when looking through the roster on Baseball Reference. Somehow, Ellis Burks at the age of 37 put up this statline:


GRHRRBIBAOBPSLG
1389232910.3010.3620.541


Only due to the steroids era is a statline like this possible for a 37 year-old. And when you look at Burks' numbers from ages 31-37, he had an OPS of .950 and slugged .568. However, from the ages of 22-30, he had an OPS of .814 and slugged .467. This makes complete sense because you know, everyone gets stronger after the age of 30, right?

Yes, I know that some of those numbers in the 31+ age range are skewed by his days in Colorado. But, I still don't believe that the air completely accounts for all those inflated numbers. If anything, I think that the Rockies may have been the NL version of the Rangers. I mean come on, how the fuck was Dante Bichette any good naturally? He looks semi-retarded. Unless he is like the Rain Man of MLB, then I take back everything I have said, and he is simply awesome.

What is really damning for Burks' case is who he was sharing the field from 1998-2001. From '98 through 2000, he shared the field with... umm... well, that entire roided out Giants team. I'm sure it was impossible to walk through that clubhouse without stepping on enough syringes to turn into Gregg Valentino.

Then, he went to Cleveland, which had another solid history of PEDs, and shared the grass of Jacobs Field with this douchebag. Not only did Ellis get tips on how to shoot up from Gonzalez, but he also found a teammate with creepier facial hair. I bet he was pumped.

Congrats Ellis Burks, welcome to the Start Wedman OSU Club.

BEFORE


AFTER

3 comments:

  1. his before and after does't really look different....umm....not really a convincing post.

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  2. This is my family and I really don't appreiciate how speculation can become reality. How many other players on the same team weren't using. When you can't find something good to say about someone make something up. He was playing against the A;s when he and Greenwell colided on hte field and he injured his shoulder and wrist and for the Red Soxs a shot and get back out there and play the next game was all he was worth to them. He played hurt from then on stayed in the locker room hours after every game iced down and lifted weights constantly before during and after the season trying to stay in the game and when he was the batting champion they pulled some old rule out and took it from him and gave it to Tony Gwinn and he hadn't even played the last half of the season so what is a person to do and then you come along without any proof and accuse him of steriods. really! anoyntd1@yahoo.com get in touch

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