Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Having Some Joe Morgan Fun

Since our blog is a complete rip off of anything we have read that was funny, I am stealing another beaut from the FJM guys. I will be calling this segment "Having Some Joe Morgan Fun" (working title, suggestions accepted. And yes, it will be exactly like JoeChat).

Hey everyone...hang on a minute. Joe was traveling this morning but I don't think he's reached his destination yet. He may have run into some travel delays.

The longer Joe is gone the less my eyes will bleed, so this can only be considered a good thing.

Joe is here everyone! His plane was late.

Damn flying machines!

The wild card races are really heating up. I think that's where the most drama will be by the end of the season.

I was expecting the drama to surround the Mets/Nats for which team is least watchable.

Shaun (mobile): should mark reynolds get mvp consieration
Joe: Well, I think he should get some votes, but I don't think he should get any first place votes. You get to pick 10 people. I would say he'll get some votes. Because of his team's place in the standings, I don't think he'll be in the top 3 or 4.

Does this answer the question? Barely. He says that he should get some votes. I'm not positive on how the voting process works (I'm positive it is stupid though), but this question should not have been answered like this. It doesn't make much sense, and this is exactly what I expected.

Dave (nj/wv): joe do what do oyu think the chances of the phils repeatin are? what needs to happen? do you think cliff lee is the best pitcher in baseball right now?

I guess questions like this happen when you are from two completely shitty places.

Joe: They definitely have a chance of repeating. I think the key will be Cole Hamels. If he can get back to being the pitcher he was at the end of last season, with the addition of Lee, I think they have a chance. So, with Hamels and of course Brad Lidge.

The best team in the NL has a chance at repeating. What is that chance? Joe will NEVER say. Is Lee the best pitcher? I think Joe cleared that up with 'so, with Hamels and of course Brad Lidge.'

Karl (Illinois): Are the White Sox finished. I know they are not that far out but with their inconsistency I just don't see them being able to make a run and take the lead. Your thoughts?

I think they call that JoeBait

Joe: I think that's the problem they have. They're inconsistent. For four or five days they look great. Then they can't hit or pitch. But the Tigers are inconsistent on the road. They still have a chance. Minnesota has had some ups and downs as well. I think those three all have a chance at the division, but Chicago is going to have to be more consistent.

Times mentioning some form of "consistent" 5. I expected more from you Joe.

Rob (Alexandria, VA): What kind of changes do you think the Cubs are going to go through in the offseason? It's tough to imagine how to improve the team when the biggest failures seemed to be in players who should have excelled and didn't, how do you fix that?

Joe: Well, the question is, did they overevaluate certain players?

Nope, not the question. You may want to work on your reading comprehension.

Did they mismanage certain players? Those are questions the ownership has to think about. They spent money to purchase players as free agents. The problem lies somewhere in the evaluation of players or in the management of the players.

But, what changes should they make this offseason? New manager? New GM? New players? Those were the questions.

KaTie (Fremulon) This will DEFINITELY be some JoeBait. Is there someone checking these questions and laughing at how Joe will answer them? Did FJM send in a secret agent to do this?

Hey Joe, when you think of all the players in MLB, who do you think is the perfect example of playing the game the right way?

Gary Sheffield! Robinson Cano! Gary Sheffield! I can't decide.

Joe: First of all, I think there are a lot of players who play the game the right now. There's a long list I would have to give you. I was in Anaheim last night and Tori Hunter is one of those guys.

The last person I saw... who was it? O yea, that Torii kid. How many ii's is that. Fuck it, I'm going to spell it wrong.

I was in Boston over the weekend and Derek Jeter is one of those guys. There are a lot of them. We hear that players don't play well or hard, and I disagree with that. Dustin Pedroia. I guarantee I could name you 40 or 50 guys that I think play the game the right way

He cannot name 40 or 50 players. He can only remember the superstars from the games he watched in the past 2 weeks. Sorry.

Shaun (mobile): how long do u think it will be before stratesberg will be pitching for the nationals in the big leagues

Joe: I think he would tell me when he's ready.

Why the fuck would he tell Joe Morgan?!?! "Hey, Joe. I feel like I've matured enough and my command is sick now. We just switched GM's so I have no fucking clue who is running this shit show. Do you think you could tell them I'm ready?"

Steve (Middletown, CT): What do you think about Ben Zobrist for AL MVP consideration?

Joe: There are a lot of guys having a good year on a lot of different teams. But to say that he's an MVP candidate, I don't think so. I think you're looking at Teixiera, Morneau, Mauer. There are guys ahead of him as far as MVP is concerned. But Zobrist is having a good season.

I've never heard of this Zamboni fella. What you are saying he is dominating in OPS, OBP, and SLUG this year, and he is pretty good defensively? I don't care. He is not on the Yankees, a past MVP, or the subject of the question I just answered. I refuse to dignify this question with a feasible response.

There are many more questions with equally bad answers, but I quit trying. Its really quite exhausting listening to an idiot babble on about baseball, isn't it?

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