Monday, August 10, 2009

The Josh Hamilton Saga

I do not like Josh Hamilton. I think he is fake. Unlike every other writer/TV personality, I am sick of his holier than thou act. That's right ACT. Because Jesus' boy Josh got caught up with some high class skanks at a bar. If you have not met any of the writers of this blog, yes, we are exactly the type of people who make fun of sport stars when they screw up. Mainly, because we are perfect, and enjoy throwing stones at those of whom are less fortunate.

The blessed Josh Hamilton is no different than any other tortured athlete banging any ho he can get a hold of. However, writers would like you to believe that Hamilton was the greatest human to grace the planet. He beat cocaine, and now Jesus loves him. Fuck anyone who thinks, maybe he shouldn't have been doing cocaine in the first place.

Its not that I hate Josh Hamilton for trying to be clean. Its that every writer on the planet has made it seems like Josh Hamilton is a role model for doing cocaine and heroine, then stopping. They also feel his heroism is not affected by his relapse, and subsequent cheating on his wife.

That is my problem. Why is Josh Hamilton a hero for doing cocaine at one time???? Lesson to all little kids who are good at sports: take drugs. Take lots of drugs. Almost overdose. Come back and get off drugs. Credit God. Write a book. People will love you. It doesn't matter how much you fuck up after that, or how much you cheat on your wife, everyone will love you. See: Chris "Birdman" Anderson.

I know that we aren't going to find any clean heroes in sports for our children. But do today's children really need to look up to first class fuck ups that get clean for a couple of months and hit 470 home runs in a HR Derby? Fuck, look up to a fire man or something.


  1. Dissing Josh Hamilton = cool

    Dissing the Birdman = greatest sin against humanity

  2. An ode to the Birdman's greatness-
    -Jeff 'don't punch me' VanGundy

  3. Did anyone else think the bar skanks were not overly attractive. He could have done better. Plus there really was no one else in the bar. Was it like a sweet dive bar with townies?

  4. He was smoking crack. Way cooler than cocaine. He's above Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry.