Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Pudge & Rangers Reunite

In a move to counter the Mariners reliving their golden era in the 90's, the Texas Rangers have brought back Pudge. You know this only means one thing. A new steroids era. More OSU material. More headaches for the Big Weiner.

I want this. Give it to me, Tom Hicks.

Please re-sign Juan Gonzalez. Please re-sign Jose Canseco. Please re-sign Rafael Palmeiro. Please trade for A-Rod. Please raise Ken Caminiti from the dead.

Alright, maybe one of those is a little outlandish... Jose is a New York Times bestselling author and may not want to give up his day job.

So I will keep my expectations a little more realistic. Have Pudge give current Rangers some juice. God knows that Andruw Jones could use another injection since his body has been longing for it for five years. Think about Josh Hamilton on steroids. That might be awesome.

Or imagine Pudge on meth. That might be awesomer.

Rays and Red Sox, one of you will be able to thank Tom Hicks for your postseason success come October following this terrible terrible move.


  1. But if Hamilton goes on steroids, wouldn't that be his gateway drug back into the world of meth, cocaine, heroine, and wife beating? Jesus wouldn't like that very much.

  2. But Jesus does love big titted bar skanks... so Hambone looks like he has no worries at the golden gates.