Monday, September 28, 2009

Obvious Steroids User 9/28/09

Last Thursday, I was getting bored with the usual feeds I read on my Google Reader and decided to find myself a few new ones. One of the first suggestions that popped up was Straight Cash Homey.

In the spring, when I was boring and lived alone in my tiny studio apartment, I would often read Straight Cash for a good chuckle. I forgot about the site for a while and spent my afternoon looking at all the ridiculous jerseys I have missed over the past few months. My favorite one was this classic Larry Bigbie Cardinals jersey.

It also reminded me of my favorite Larry Bigbie story of all time. Because everyone has one of those, right?

One Sunday a couple years ago, I was at the Valpo Buffalo Wild Wings enjoying my terrible food and watching football on multiple TV screens. Someone at our table started making small talk with our waitress, it may have been Zach but definitely wasn't Hudson.

Then, our waitress began talking about how her cousin was married to Larry Bigbie. She had recently attended the wedding and was informing us of its glitz and glamor.

However, I ruined the conversation when I said, "Oh yeah, Larry Bigbie... how does he feel about being in the Mitchell Report?"

She immediately left.

You can find a pic of Bigbie's wife/waitress' cousin here about half way down the page.

Anyways, here's to you, Prince of Hobart, Larry Bigbie for your induction to the OSUC and all of the great stories you induce.


  1. Was she hot like her cousin?

  2. I don't remember. She refused to be in my presence long enough for me to make that judgment call.

  3. Bigbie isn't married to a girl from Valpo. Nor does she have a sister. She is from Annapolis, MD. So story really makes no sense. Plus, Bigbie is rich! Do you think he really cares about what people say about him. Don't think so. I had a chance to meet him and he was a great guy. Obviously, steroids were in baseball. Accept it. Don't be jealous of other peoples success!!

  4. I am the waitress aT Bdubs you were talking about. I am married Larry's cousin and I vaguely recall this happening. I know for certain I did not leave immediately after your rude and clearly jealous comment. I defend Larry because i know him personaly. Clearly, when you recall an event, you remember what would make you look like a "badass" instead of the jack ass you really are. Get your fact straight please.

  5. First, I do not think I was at Bdubs the night of this story, so I can not verify any of the details in the post.

    However, I do have a few questions:

    1) Why are you so upset? This is a blog intended for about 7 people to read, and we don't even post anymore. If it offended you that we had Larry in the Obvious Steroid User Club, that was not really our intent. I think it was more just joking around and wanting to tell a couple random Larry Bigbie stories.

    2) And much, much more importantly. How did you even find this? I have a couple of theories:

    Larry was Googling himself, saw this post and questioned you (mysterious BDubs waitress) about it. (This would be awesome, and I'm really hoping this is what happened)

    You, for some unknown reason, were Googling your cousin's husband. Creepily, you went until like the 147th Google result and were shocked to find this.

    You are doing a middle school report on Larry Bigbie. (If this is the case, I'm pretty sure Cooly has done like 3 of them, he probably got an A on them, we can have him forward one to you)

    You are an imposter. (This is the most likely scenario. Unfortunately, this is also the least fun scenario)

  6. Omg I just read this article.... Zach, I hope you arent married and if you are I feel completely sorry for your wife or significant other for that matter! You seriously sound like a complete douche!!!! You have a blog... enough said!!!!

  7. I was Larry's buddy in College......played ball with him ......left early for a night I regret.....kept Larry out of that night....ole buddy- if you Google yourself, hope you read this. I have always been on your side through ball and understand about "everything". Hope you are doing well. .....- Bull