Thanks for stealing my thunder, Washington Nationals. I was literally going to post today about how I was going to extend Jim Riggleman. Then I woke up and discovered that you beat me to the punch. It's only because you are on Maryland Time and have real jobs to wake up for, you pricks.
However, instead of hiring him for his work in the later half of the year, I was going to give him the job based on his super tight ass: