Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Pierre is Winding up to Throw, Duck!!!

...That throw ended up going 47 feet and bouncing 3 times before hitting me.

Thanks for showing up 2010 White Sox. It will be a jazz making fun of you for the next 10 months.

For all of you wondering how I felt about Juan "Suck" Pierre getting traded to the White Sox, lets just say I'm not all that thrilled about it. When word broke via text messages during work to me, I felt like crying. Then laughing. Then the inevitable dismay.

I feel my text messages following this debacle summed up the situation quite nicely:

My father: Juan Pierre to the Sox
Me: Consider 2010 a losing season for the White Sox
My father: but he's black and hispanic (I don't even think that is true, but you may see where I get this from)
My father: He hit .304 and 30 SB last year
Me: Don't think like that. He is awful he also had a .310 OBP.
Me: And has the worst arm ever to play baseball.

That was tame...

Me: I can't wait to see Pierre 2 hop the cutoff man every game next year.
Cooly: I think Williams thinks this is a fantasy draft in 2001.

Mr. Anonymous: White Sox got Juan Pierre. HAHAHAHAH (By the way the estimated amount of time Mr. Anonymous and I have made fun of Juan Pierre is nearing 10,000 minutes)
Me: Andruw and Pierre! How could this get any better?
Mr. Anonymous: I'm very excited! If this was 1998 you would be awesome.

Me: What the fuck are the White Sox doing?
Reader Chris: I saw the news earlier. I don't quite know what kenny is thinking? It is funny that those 2 are back together after they couldn't do anything with the Dodgers.

That lead to this, quite accurate mass text:

Me: Better arm: Juan Pierre or Jim Abbott's stump?

That's pretty much how I feel about this trade. I would rather have a guy with 1 arm playing left than Juan Pierre. This is absolutely the tip of the iceberg regarding my travels with young Juan Pierre. If you don't realize that 3 out of every 4 of my White Sox posts will have some negative comment about Pierre, then I'm glad you stumbled upon Start Wedman. Be prepared for a fascnating ride.

Seriously, this was an absolute punch to the gut. He is awful. I will get into why he is bad at baseball in later posts. Right now, I feel like crying. This is like if John Starks were to start coaching the Bulls, or Brett Favre joined the Vikings (Damn!), or if Kenny traded for Nick Punto. Shit lets not give Kenny any ideas, because how can you pass up a guy with no power (in a power position), that plays terrible defense, and gets on base twice a month?????


  1. You have to give the man some credit as he did appear in a Jay-Z video which trumps any lack luster accomplishments he has ever ahieved in baseball.
    Music Video for a Credible Musician - 1 Credible skills, stats or anything baseball related - 0

  2. To add to the credibility of Zach's post about us talking about Juan's suck-assness all the time please see: #8