Monday, February 15, 2010

Dream Series

Well, considering the World Series is only a few days a way, it seems like just about anything is possible. For the past couple years, I've been pulling for an Orioles-Reds World Series with the Orioles winning in 7. With the recent signing of Miguel Tejada, I can now say it'll be on a Tejada walk-off grand slam in the bottom of the 12th with 3 balls and 2 strikes. Dreams come true.

In honor of my perfect series pick, I'll be dishing out my dream World Series matchups...

Why: Tony La Russa's steroid influence on both teams. Their have been pretty-much-substantiated rumors that La Russa not only turns the other cheek when it comes to steroids, but maybe endorses it. It's awfully hard to argue that point when, on the A's side, you have McGwire, He-Man Canseco, and that random player I can't remember the name of who came out of nowhere to have an absolutely ridiculous seasons for the A's in like...'87 or something, I can't remember. Somebody asked him how he went from sucking so terribly to being so ripped and awesome one time, and he responded, "I eat my fruit loops." Fag.
On the St. Louis side we have McGwire...again...and the existence of ex-user/ex-Cardinal loser Ankiel (exiled to Kansas City with everybody else that can't find a job). La Russa is still there making terrible line-up decisions, and if you can look me straight in the face and say that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Pujols hasn't used steroids, you are a liar and a fiend.

Why: Nobody cares. A Subway Series or a Windy City series and everybody would watch it. Nobody, even a lot of people in LA, would care about a West Coast Series. Does anybody REALLY love the Angels outside of the movie Angels in the Outfield? No. Plus, Manny Being Manny is still hilarious.

Why: I can't imagine a more boring World Series, except maybe Kansas City/Houston or Detroit/Milwaukee.

White Sox-Cubs
Why: Not just because a Windy City Series would be incredibly awesome, but because there would be nothing funnier than having the Cubs get there, lose (preferably in a Game 7 at home) and lose to their cross-town, less popular, recently World Series-winning rivals.

Why: Because it would mean the 2nd coming of Christ. And Montreal would deserve it more. It'd be like the OKC Thunder going to the NBA Finals for Seattle.

Why: Whenever the Marlins make the playoffs, everybody assumes they'll be one-and-done. Hell, half the time, people are just like, "Since when were the Marlins in the playoffs?" Then they go and beat the NL-best Cubs or the Yankees and it's just so bizarre. You and everybody else KNOWS they don't deserve to be there, that they aren't the best team in the league. I'd love to see it happen again, then witness the fire sale on day one of the off-season. Enjoy the spoils of losing, Yankees and Red Sox.

Why: Because it is God's chosen series.


  1. Darrell Green said he just ran the 40 yard dash in 4.43 seconds at age 50. I say YSSW sponsor a race between Darrell and Jose Canseco. Jose will hopefully claim to beat him in work boots.

  2. I think Jose Canseco would actually call out a bear right now. How sweet of a fight would that be?