Wednesday, June 16, 2010

2010 MLB Draft Thoughts

The 2010 MLB Draft happened last week.  Did you notice?  Oh, just barely, huh?  Well, outside of the gratuitous Bryce Harper coverage, did you notice?  Right... didn't think so.

In case you were wondering, I think the draft can be summer up like this, more or less:

1. Bryce Harper
2. Too many MLB Trade Rumors posts I don't care about
3. Pointless discussion regarding why the MLB Draft isn't as big as that of the NFL or NBA
4. Delino DeShields Jr.

Oh yes, you read that last point correctly. Delino DeShields Jr. went to the Houston Astros.  Proving to be the most significant story of the draft day, in my book.  And why was it so significant, you say?

Because his father, the immortal Delino DeShields, had one of my all-time favorite baseball names. (I hope you realize that this is the point in the post where I don't give a fuck about stats or anything else related to the draft.  Did you really expect me to give you that sort of posting?  Aw hell naw.)

I know that Major League Baseball has always been loaded with great names since the dawn of time; it's understandable since professional sports are in reality a part of the entertainment business.  But Delino DeShields was always one of my all-time favorite names for a variety of reasons.

First, the pronunciation of his name.  I have heard announcers through time use say "DeLINEo" and "Delano" (like FDR).  Either one rolls off the tongue elegantly to alliterate with "DeShields."  Either one is pure poetry in motion to me.

Second, Delino will always stand out to me as one of the most underrated players of all-time in Major League Baseball featuring Ken Griffey Jr.  While others were spending their time trying to trade for the likes of Roberto Alomar in their franchises, I always settled with Delino for a cheaper, easier, and very effective second baseman.  Plus, he had the ever important "big hole" for batting as my brother and I called it (featured prominently here).  Of course, there were always many anus jokes involved with discussions about batters' holes in that game.

Third, the internet has remembered Delino better photographically than any other player ever.  Just look at these! And the uni brow!  Just check out the range of emotion; he's a natural model.  No other 90's baseball player has a portfolio like that.

When I sat back and thought deeply about Delino DeShields and his awesome name, I also came up with a few other all-time favorites.  Now, none of them are quite as widely regarded as classic, such as Dizzy Dean for instance, but these were always some of my favorite.

Darryl Strawberry - Long before I knew about drugs, I always imagined what it would look like for a human-sized strawberry to be playing baseball.  Thanks for allowing me to dream those images and giggle, Darryl.

Candy Maldonado - What a sweet name.  I always called him "Candy Mondo" though in honor of one of the greatest soft drinks ever.  It's really no wonder why I will come down with diabetes one day.

Glenallen Hill - I just remember him jacking giant homers due to steroids.  So something about his name just translated to power in my eight year old mind.  Things have changed a bit since now, I laugh at his goofy helmet

Chili Davis - I think this one is unanimous with everyone who has followed baseball over the past 25 years.  And it gives me another reason to run this pic.

Shane Mack - I always loved this name.  Not sure if it was because I loved Mack for his unreal eye black, MVP-like abilities for me in Stratomatic 1990, or awesome bio in the 1993 Handbook of Baseball I read while I sit on my pooper (if you ever come over to my place, I always point out this excellent book on the Cribs tour) since the actual name is kinda boring.  I always thought it was just an awesome dude name.  Well, maybe not since it's apparently the name of some gay country singer now, too.  That sucks.


  1. The draft did not slip by me. I watch the vast majority of the first round. Here are some things to take away from it:

    Your boy Delino Jr said that his favorite clubhouse moment when he was a kid was meeting Sammy Sosa. This prompted Reader Chris to start crying as Delino Jr was, much like Cooly, his pick for coolest person ever.

    The other major thing was that the Cubs decided to draft a player 6 rounds too soon with their 1st round pick. When the selection was made, the main table of analysts on MLB Network were so dumbfounded they had to send it to 2 bigger geeks that new more about amateur baseball. These guys were so dumbfounded by the pick they barely knew who he was. One of them did not have him ranked in his Top 200 and the other had him ranked like 198. Good work Cubs.


  3. Couple of things I liked about this year's draft:

    1) The White Sox taking Ozzie Jr. . .again.

    2) The Dbacks drafting a P with the last name of Loux but pronouced like Loud.

    3) 2 Valpo players getting drafted. One who was the Horizon league pitcher of the year and another who has a prominent last name and road the bench.

  4. I have no legs! I have no legs!