Tuesday, June 29, 2010

MLBTR Roundup

I haven't consistently read MLB Trade Rumors this year, which deeply saddens me. As one of their pioneer readers (MLBTR was started just 3 months before Cooly and I began reading. Nerd street cred!!! I just did several fist pumps to celebrate my heroics.), I am disgraced by my lack of loyalty for a blog that has been so good to me in the past.

A beautiful thing happened last week, which may have turned my spirits and this blogs lifeline around. My brand new job has virtually no Internet restrictions (the only website blocked is FIFA.com, suck it soccer!). This means I have 45 minutes every lunch time to read up on terrible writers and blog. I'm sure you all are as happy about this as I am.

One of the things that turned me off to MLBTR recently was the loss of humor from the site. More hired part time posters started working there, and with less Tim Dierkes postings we had less opportunities for quips about Fernando Tatis and Reggie Sanders. A few things on MLBTR stuck out today, which I think you all should know about. When speaking about the White Sox pursuit of Adam Dunn, Tim gave us this tasty lick:

The 30-year-old Dunn is hitting .276/.366/.559 with 17 home runs in 314 plate appearances this season. The batting average would be the highest of his career, his 11.5% walk rate the lowest. The White Sox have gotten just a .218/.293/.371 line out of the DH spot, with Mark Kotsay getting the most starts there.

Seriously, they are batting .218!!!! That is horrible. What is worse is the DH spot has an OBP of .293. This is atrocious. The 2008 Mariners wouldn't have stood for this kind of production. And they allowed Jose Vidro to bat the majority of the time! (Not to be confused with Fernando Vina, which I always do)

Ben Nicholson-Smith gave us another morsel of excitement when he added this to another post:

MLB.com's Anthony Castrovince hears that Sal Fasano, who currently manages in Toronto's system, is an early candidate to replace Cito Gaston as the Blue Jays' manager in 2011. Fasano, 38, had an 11-year MLB career that included a stint with the Jays in 2007.

The MLBTR I know would have unabashedly made fun of Fasano's lack of skill and willingness to sport a great mustache. Because Tim no longer shares his bouts of comedic wisdom with us, I will have to append my own thoughts to the end of the Sal Fasano bulletin.

...Fasano, 38, had an 11-year MLB career that included a stint with the Jays in 2007, three trips to a barber, and reportedly 7 showers has spent the majority of his coaching much like his playing career, drinking truck loads of Old Style, belching Led Zepplin, and giving great massages.


  1. Glad to have you back! I never knew I made anyone laugh. Maybe we can sneak a joke in here or there.

  2. Zach, I easily spend 1+ hours on the site each day. Sometimes I just sit there, waiting for a new post while staring intently to show that I'm hard at work. Yesterday someone came in and asked how my work on the handbook was coming. I quickly responded that I had no clue, but I could tell them that the Astros weren't looking to fill anyone in for the injured Tommy Manzella.

  3. If that is actually Tim Dierkes, that may be the coolest thing ever. MLBTR's jokes were fantastic. I'm fairly sure they were the only thing posted on my facebook wall from 2005-2007.

    Tristan, I'm starting to worry that Bob may pass you up as best employee. This is worrisome, because Bob is a piece of shit.

  4. Tim,

    Now that we have you reading, can MLBTR go back to the classic black background with the off-white font?

  5. Easy 1,000 cool points if that is the real Tim Dierkes.

  6. MLBTR and Zach-Cooly's Facebook Wall-to-Wall

    "Barry Bonds attended last night's Giants game, and provided his typical nonsensical comments." - Tim Dierkes

    Charles Barkley upon hearing that TBS hired David Wells as an MLB analyst:
    "Oh good, they hired someone fatter than me!"

    With Victor Martinez, Kelly Shoppach, Carlos Santana, and others, the Indians have a surplus of catching (and mad guitar skills).
    Tim... what a funny man.

    I have to admit, I am going to read Canseco's new book. The first one was interesting but poorly written.-mlbtr

    When Tim asked me to cover MLBTR.com today, in exchange for 20,000 Schrutebucks my first reaction was "Sure, why not? It's not as if there is anything to write about anyway..."

    Seeing Harden on a Major League mound is as rare as seeing me at the office past 4:52. (What? I have a 5:09 train I like to catch).

    This was just scratching the surface of our conversations

  7. Greetings, I saw this via facebook and i've been perusing through the blogs. Good stuff. Hope all is well back in IL.

    My long distance Cubs relationship is being tested living in America's worst sports town (Seattle). The only baseball joy I get comes from A-Ram's historically BAD BAD BAD season and listening to WGN radio hoping Santo sets himself on fire .... again.

    Oh and one last thing speaking of rarely seen pitchers, news out here is Bedard is back. I hope to ask him: Just why are high strikeout Canadians so fragile?