Thursday, September 23, 2010

Life Update

Egads! Only the fifth post in the month of September from us here? Geez, we were doing back better in February, aka the death of everything in the greater Chicago region. At least we had an excuse back then because we were, you know, dead.

I can only assume that this month has worn down Zach and Tristan, the only two other of our writers who survived that long, cold winter (except for Dave, who died of cholera on St. Patty's Day). I had the great fortune of watching the Cardinals collapse and allow a franchise that glorifies Joe Morgan and Pete Rose to run away with the division in front of their near 75% capacity crowds at home. Tristan gave up all hope in baseball when that Haren trade happened. And Zach, well, he simply needs an entirely new set of teams to root for since the suckitude between the Sox and Vikings is getting too heavy for him to handle.

Thankfully for everyone on the planet, yesterday was Fire Joe Morgan Day over at Deadspin, which produced some of the best writing I have consumed in years. Many a laugh was had and several new catchphrases have been formed ("FUCK BITCHES, GET MONEY - JERRY THORNTON"). Needless to say, if you plan on reading this blog ever again, you are required to spend an afternoon catching up on those FJM pieces. I'm not kidding. I'm going to fucking put a quiz on this site that will serve as a password, and you will have to ace it in order to continue on to our site. You Should Start Wedman will be harder to access than any porn site you have ever tried to hack.

However, those FJM posts along with the badass Hemingway I've been reading have inspired me to be a little more proactive with this site. And hell, the end of those CPA classes coming up in three weeks doesn't exactly hinder that desire either. I'm sure Zach feels the same. I could tell from his giddy texts we exchanged last night regarding FJM Day - as it will forever be known when Obama makes 9/22 a national holiday in the near future - that he's ready to rock out with his cock out and blog from his basement.

Also, don't forget about our basketball baby. Since the hoops time is coming up and a few of us split Bulls season tickets, I imagine many a Bulls-loving/Heat-hating rant will pop up there. In fact, I will be reviving it soon with a post. That's right I'm firing up that treadmill we have been on from stopped to about 2.5 MPH. It's time to get physical and sweat it out, baby! (PS - The promised post is now up.)

And in the mean time, laugh your ass off as this momentous video (sent in by our boy Scotty G):


  1. As the loyal follower and gf to a contributor that I am, can I recommend not locking interested readers out of your site? To prove my loyalty, I did read some FJM Deadspin posts so I might pass this quiz; although my experience hacking into sites, porn or any sort, is limited.

  2. Not going to lie, I was thinking we were about to shut the site down after this anemic month. I also feel that I am not worthy of commenting on baseball after FJM day and watching this Brian Wilson video. (He may be my new favorite player, "it was just something I did").

    PS. I started reading Farewell to Arms this spring until the ex (topical with the only current GF commenting) stole the copy. FUCK BITCHES GET MONEY!!!!!!