Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Roy Halladay is Good

A lot of people will do some over exaggerating these next few days about the legend of Roy Halladay. I am not one of those people. I am also not a dumbass, and will not even come close to saying Roy Halladay is a mortal pitcher.

I think you all know how great Roy Halladay is. He is so great, he became the focus of one of the most ludicrous bets I have ever made. Allow me to set the stage...

I am at a local watering hole the night of Roy Halladay's perfect game earlier this year. The bartenders at said watering hole have a propensity to get me as fucked up as humanly possible all in hopes of embarrassing me and making fun of me for the next 6 months. (They succeed every time I go to that place).

Roy Halladay is in his 9th inning on the hill with the perfect game still in tact. From what I can tell I am into roughly my 20th Jameson shot. Feeling a great rush of overconfidence and the ever surging man love for Doc growing in my loins I decide this is the perfect time for a bet. I turn to my side and infrequent commenter, frequent Doug Glanville lover, Chris is willing to accept my terms. The bet was made, if Roy "Doc" Halladay throws another no hitter this year I will win.

What do I win you may ask? A large sum of money? More free shots?

Well, I don't fucking remember (please note, my memory was failing I was on roughly #20 of the Jameson shots. I'm not Jimmy McNaulty!)

Flash forward to minutes ago (I'm bringing this post to you like an episode of The Event. Wait, no one watched The Event, shit) Halladay completes the no hitter and I throw my arms up in triumph. I've won the bet that caused me much ridicule over the past few months. Allow the haters to hate, all I do is win!

I then call Chris to gloat about my victory. To my dismay, he PROTESTS! See Chris feels that our bet only lasts through the regular season. As he recants, "The terms of the bet were that he would not throw another no hitter, this season (emphasis on season)". Chris unwisely believes that the post season somehow does not count as apart of the 2010 season. Bullocks! This is a poor man grasping at straws!

I need your help. We need an arbiter for this bet (I'm not sure if Cooly was there or not). I need the help of the masses to persuade Chris to accept his fate and either pay me massive amounts of money or buy me massive amounts of alcohol. (Also, I know he remembers the terms of the bet, however he is claiming to have forgotten them, MORE BULLOCKS!!!!) Please leave your thoughts in the comments below with the person whom you are siding with.


  1. As an avid reader of SW I feel betrayed. Being thrown under the bus to all the millions and millions SW fans out there just is not fair. As a matter of fact, I’m beginning to question my loyalty to SW as I’ve been betrayed by both senior writers of SW in the past 5 days (insert burwood tap trivia). Who am I kidding, I need to see seasons 2-4 of The Wire so I’ll forgive.

    Congrats Doc. I was never betting in dislike to you, but rather I believed I was making a bet with a 99% win probability (I believe Cooly took the bet, too). And, I’m sorry I fell asleep through outs 15-25; my chicken salad was filling.

    Should Halladay’s no-no have counted in our bet? I have no idea, I don’t remember the limitations of the bet either, but I don’t like to lose so I will act like a child and fight this verdict. Since I don’t remember the limitations, I don’t really know what I’m arguing for. Let’s improvise!

    Why are season stats whipped clean come play-offs? Because it’s a new season! You cannot compare player’s stats who have had the chance to play 162 games to those who could have had the chance to play over 180. Using my keen deductive reasoning ability I have come up with this equation: More Games = More Chances. While making the bet with you, Zach, I did not account for More Games = More Chances. Hence, this bet should be voided or I should have been given a handicap if Halladay pitched in the play-offs (handicap would’ve been something like if he pitches a no-hitter in the post season, I win and you lose).

    I believe the only way to solve the dilemma is to make another bet, or I can give you a little 5 knuckle shuffle (YOU CAN’T C ME!). Enjoy losing, Zach.

  2. That's a tough call. I'm going to say post-season is included in the bet

  3. Allow me to further muddle the fuzzy details.

    1. I was not present for the original bet making. I believe that I was informed of the bet on a later date at another one of our favorite watering holes. (

    2. I was not a part of the bet, but am rather the independent third party to verify the existence of the bet in case a situation like today would happen.

    3. The terms of the bet were monetary, not alcoholic. I think it was somewhere in the $50 range.

    Now, in regards to who won. I think Zach bested you on this one, CP. Although I know it is technically the 'post'season, it is still a part of the season. When you look back on other seasons, the postseasons and World Series are always included as a part of that season. No one says that the Yankees or Mets won the 2006 season, but rather that the Cardinals won, even though they only technically won the postseason.

    In similar regards, the bet is won by Zach since Hallday's no no took place within the 2010 season.

    Plus, you have to give Zach props for the improbability of ever coming close to winning. Let alone, having Doc accomplish the feat and winning Zach the money in the playoffs.

  4. This is actually a tough call, but one thing is certain. . .

    Stats don't carry over into the playoffs.

    If they did, there could be a new home run champion every year as long as the team goes deep enough into the playoffs.

    However, Chris. . .you always have to protect yourself. When Bob and I made our Paul Konerko bet (which I won because he hit 36+ home runs this year), right as we were shaking hands he slipped in that Konerko had to be on the White Sox for all 36.

    While Bob can now blow me for my triumphant betting victory and record over him (2-0), you always have to leave yourself an out. The fact that this bet only pertained to the 2010 baseball season, we may never know who shall pay who.

    The only fair way around this may be to have Zach and Chris never back down while we all record it on our cell phones. Winner take all.

  5. As the "voice of the people" I feel like I must weigh in on this.

    Zach loves making bets about no-hitters. He and I have a lifetime bet that I win if Ted Lilly ever throws a no-hitter. That bet is nice because the team/season/league doesn't matter.

    I like Cooly's point of the same year season. But I also like T-Pain's point of the stats not carrying over.

    Since Chris did not make Zach pay him his winnings yet he must have thought "season" meant playoffs as well. Otherwise after the last Phillies game ZTP would have had to pony-up.

    One possible option is to kind of pro-rate the bet. Since the no-hitter happened in the 2010 season, but not the regular season maybe go with a slightly smaller payout. So since it was $50 for 162 games, now it could be $35 since it happened in the playoffs. Although this is game 163 for the Phillies, so its still really close...

    This is a tough call, so my thought is to resolve it street fight style like T-Pain suggested or through best 2/3 rock-paper-scissors, the one true way to decide all things.

  6. Also, please refer to this quiz:

  7. Chris as the person who introduced Sporcle to most of us, I feel this is indisputable evidence.

  8. Clearly the both of you are desperate and amateurs. This is a user created quiz and HAS NOT BEEN VERIFIED BY SPORCLE. Boom.

  9. So has this been resolved?

    The people want to know.