Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Choose or Die!

With the recent irrational moves by the Dodgers sweeping the baseball world, I figured we should compare and contrast the insignificant moves they made today. The moves that I am talking about are the earth shattering choice of signing Juan Uribe to a 3 yr/ $21 mil contract and trading away Ryan Theriot (approximately $3 mil after arbitration).

The question of course is, Should the Dodgers have kept Theriot or gone with Uribe?

Juan Uribe Pros:
1) Swings hard
2) Used to be a good defensive shortstop
3) Hits around 20 HRs a year
4) Can play 2B, SS and 3B
5) Once dove into the bleachers in a World Series (Derek Jeter did that too!!!!!)
6) 2 World Series Rings
7) Throws really hard

Juan Uribe Cons:
1) Pretty shitty at most things required for baseball
2) Barely ever gets on base
3) Not good defensively anymore
4) Once dyed his beard orange
5) I've said to myself "No team can win a World Series with Juan Uribe starting for them" TWICE!
6)Will someday swing so hard time will go back 5 seconds
7)Unlike Antonio Alfonseca, only has 5 fingers
8) Is getting paid $7 million more than he should be

Ryan Theriot Pros:
1) Girls think he is pretty
2) Once played shortstop
3) Cooly thinks he is a good fit on the Cards
4) Gets on base a lot
5) Could steal you 20 bases
6) He is from the Bayou
7) The Cubs thought he could hit leadoff
8) Is probably undervalued in his current contract

Ryan Theriot Cons:
1) Has always played shortstop poorly
2) He cannot hit lead off
3) Has a little girl arm
4) Best way to describe him is "scrappy"
5) I think he looks like a cross between an elf and a douche bag
6) Cannot hit the long ball

I think I'm going to have to side with Theriot. He is getting paid much less to do the same job, and will basically be equally as effective.

What do you think?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Kim Jong-Il Hates Indians Baseball/Cleveland Too

If you missed it today, North Korea fired shots at South Korea. Who could really say why, maybe it is because Kim Jong-Il is bat shit crazy; more likely North Korea was super pissed that South Korea won the Asian Games. (That is their title!).

Regardless of the why, we know that South Korea is mildly upset. Now, as many of you know Shin Soo Choo is South Korean (kind of like Mr. Anonymous). Choo was supposed to sign up for military duty within the next 2 years. However, since he lead his team to Total Victory, he has been granted a pardon from his military service. This made me extremely happy as one of my favorite players and my fantasy baseball pillar now can actually play baseball in his prime years.

Then, Kim Jong-Il had to go and fuck everything up. With this latest incident Choo can either run and hide from his military service, or fearless patriotism will consume him. My guess is that Choo ends up signing up for the Korean military and becomes the best fighter pilot since Ted Williams.

I guess we will just have to wait this one out. Let's all hope it doesn't end with a crazy Korean detonating a bunch of nukes.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Is Matt a Brewers Fan?

A few posts ago in the comments section one of our staff members made an outlandish claim: Matt stated that he was a Cubs fan and a Brewers fan. This offended every sensibility that T-Pain had and he declared somewhat of a war on Matt. T-Pain could not comprehend how someone could have their 2 favorite teams reside in the same division. He felt this betrayed a good baseball knowledge. In his own defense, Matt claimed that he was a proud Brewers fan before they transferred to the National League and that he should be grandfathered in.

How can we prove that Matt was a Brewers fan when the Cerveceros were in the AL?

The other writers and i have compiled a quiz that should settle the score. The scoring will be completely subjective and I will serve as the administrator of the quiz. In order to obtain the most accurate results, we must use a Gentleman's Agreement with Matt. Matt must promise not to use any Internet sources to find these answers. As I have known him since we were 10, I feel as though I have a strong grasp on the questions Matt does and does not know. If I suspect any cheating on his part sanctions will be brought upon him.

Without further ado, THE QUIZ (I also implore everyone to attempt to take The Quiz. I will leave a scoring key in the comments section in a few days. Let's all test our knowledge of the Brewers)

(Side Note: I've requested that the questions either be geared toward general Brewers knowledge or in depth team knowledge from the 1990's or 2000's, as to yield the best results)

1 Point Questions

1) In what year did the Brewers win the World Series? (got to start off easy)
2) What was the name of the Brewers' former Stadium?
3) What years did Robin Yount win the AL MVP? (1 point per correct answer)
4) What year did the Brewers shift to the National League?
5) Please spell Hall of Fame Brewers' announcer's last name.
6) Who was the Brewers owner before he sold the franchise in 2004?
7) What was the Brewers original team name?
8) What were the 3 original types of sausages to race?
9) What are the current sausages that compete in the Sausage Race?
10) Name the player responsible for striking the Sausage with a baseball bat. (Bonus 5 points: which Sausage was struck)

2 Point Questions

11) Which double play combination patrolled the infield from 1995-1999?
12) Which slugger patrolled Left and Right Field for the Brewers from 1999-2007?
13) Name the players who's numbers are retired by the Brewers. (2 points per correct answer)
14) How many division titles and pennants have the Brewers won?
15) What year was the Sausage Race first introduced?
16) Who were the Brewers playing when Yount recorded his 3,000th hit? (5 Bonus points for getting the pitcher)
17) The 1987 Brewers team nickname was...


My own scoring...

Name your favorite Brewer All Time and Currently.
Name the Brewers Team Leaders in Hits/Home Runs/RBI/SB/Wins/Saves/Strike Outs


Please leave your comments in the comment section and I will give each a score. Remember, NO CHEATING!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Derek Jeter Saga

I know, I know, I know. Two Derek Jeter posts in a matter of hours of each other when we hardly post once a week? You are probably thinking that someone took Zach and I for some experimental lobotomies this weekend.

However, fear not, both posts offer Jeter, Yankee, and general New York bashing (for the most part)! Hooray baseball!

Anyways, my post will not revolve around the travesty of Jeter's Gold Glove win this afternoon since I'm sure somewhere in a dark basement, Bill James is dying of a brain aneurysm. May God rest his sweet, sweet, giant-book-writing soul. Instead, I will focus more on the other Jeter news that is setting the mass sports media on fire - the fact that, OMG, DEREK JETER DOESN"T HAVE A CONTRACT WITH THE YANKEES NEXT YEAR!!!!1!1!!!1!!

(How do you like that link to the boring, bland MLB Trade Rumors page even though I freaked out like a fourteen year old girl? Ah, my irony is hilarious.)

Now some are taking the news better than others. As one could have expected, most people around baseball are relatively calm because sometimes contracts do actually run their courses and players don't end up taking the last three years off with a "hip injury" a la Albert Belle. And of course, New Yorkers are not most people, which drives them to write terrible articles. (Zach, please FJM that for me - thanks a ton)

In order to make this whole situation a little easier to handle, let's lay out the facts.

1. Derek Jeter is a free agent. (Have to start slow)
2. Jeter is a future Hall of Famer, which comes with its usual end-of-a-star's-career pros and cons.
3. Jeter and everyone in baseball (except maybe Joe Buck and Tim McCarver) knows that he sucks. I don't think they really need that many reminders.
4. The Yankees are going to sign Jeter no matter what.

Given those facts, most of the debate has gone out the window. There's no need to worry about him signing with any other team. In fact, I really can't find any articles discussing another team being in the Derek Jeter negotiations; although, I'm surprised that Billy Beane hasn't phoned him up since he's all about bringing washed up veterans on board.

However, when Jeter finally signs this offseason, the only question is how much will the Yankees overpay him? Yes, his baseball production will not be anything worth what he will ultimately earn, but one also has to keep the dollar value of Derek Jeter the merchandise seller when signing him. You know that the Yankees (and ESPN) will promote the shit out of Jeter's 3,000 hit run. The money and media hullabaloo to be made over that whole ordeal, much to the chagrin of Zach and I, will dominate most of early portion of the season.

So what does Jeter get paid in the end? I honestly think he gets somewhere between $15M to $18M per year. Yes, he will be paid more than double of what his baseball production will be worth. And yes, the Yankees and Brian Cashman said something stupid about their franchise existing without Jeter possibly, but that's not going to happen. Jeter will not be allowed to get his 3,000th hit with another team because the Yankees will never allow that situation to happen, Jeter knows he has a slight upper hand in the negotiations, which he will push just below the $20M range (he's got a Minka Kelly to feed!).

But enough about that Derek Jeter contract bullshit, it's now time for the real reason I wanted to write this post. It's November, which means The National get to rock out with their Jeter ode. Hell yeah.

MLB's Least Honorable Award Becomes a Mockery

I am going to try not to swear during this post. I feel that the travesty that the voters for the Gold Glove need to feel shamed without the simple pleasures of a good curse. Gold Glove voters shamed the baseball world and forever brought skepticism to one of the decent ways of comparing fielders across eras. Willie Mays racked up countless Gold Gloves; Brooks Robinson even more. Being born in 1987, I will never have the pleasure of seeing these athletes chase down balls that mortals never dreamed of catching. The only way I can accurately assess just how great these fielders were compared to today's greats can only be measured through accolades, written and award based. The coaches and players in charge of giving this award sullied the spirit of the accomplishment.

Derek Jeter has won the American League Gold Glove for the short stop position.

This is offensive and appalling.

Since there are seemingly 2 schools of thought on how to value baseball talents, I would like to argue why Jeter winning makes no sense in any realm of thinking.

See it with your eyes types (symptoms of this include enjoying Joe Morgan commentary, liking the White Sox because they are grindy and sharing any baseball beliefs with Ozzie Guillen)

Many of you may be thinking, "Derek Jeter is the best shortstop to ever play the game. He is a True Yankee and has lead his team to 12 Championships all through pure desire and heart." These people are fucking morans.

Derek Jeter has not even been useful on defense for at least 5 years. Yes, you are correct, Derek Jeter is very sure handed and he probably looks good banging his hot girlfriend. He made 6 errors this year! You are right, that is a phenomenally low amount of errors to make. However, you are missing the fact that he has absolutely no range. None. This is not arguable. During the ALCS, I tweeted that Elvis Andrus just made an amazing play and that absolutely separates Andrus from Jeter in this series. I only had to wait a half inning to find out how right I was. With Andrus at the plate, he hit a slow roller to short. Clearly hit slower and about a step closer to Jeter than the ball hit to Andrus in the prior inning. Derek Jeter, on the biggest stage, a True Yankee, did not come anywhere close to making this play.

Jeter simply does not have the quickness anymore to play the position at even an average level. I don't want to get to numbers heavy in this section because I will be hitting you with a lot of that in the next section, but a typical meat head stat is fielding percentage. Going of this metric, Jeter was far and away the leader. However going to another simple statistic you can see how limited his range truly is. Derek Jeter was 6th with 365 Assists this year (Alexei Ramirez with 499 lead the category). Again Jeter made 6 errors all year, and was nowhere close to the lead in assists. How can you explain the 134 more Assists made by Ramirez? Ground ball pitchers? The opposition never hitting to Jeter for fear his Yankee Pride will get them out? I think over the course of an entire season most of those intangibles tend to even out. The only way you can account for this discrepancy is acknowledging Jeter's subpar range.

The Sabermetric View (symptoms include: being a pompous jerk and constantly believing you are right)

First of all, I would like to show you the leaders in the AL this year in UZR (I acknowledge this is not a perfect stat, but still!). Oh, you did not see Jeter's name on that list. That's funny, probably because he is not on it. Check page 2! That is right, your Gold Glove winner is not even in the Top 40 of players who played shortstop in the AL this year in a metric widely considered the best defensive measure, right now.

Not only that, but he was a -4.7!!!!! Not even close to being average, a decidedly terrible fielder just won the 2010 Gold Glove Award. Matt Tuiasosopo finished higher on the list than him! Do you even know who he is? Me neither, but his fucking brother wasn't even good enough to beat out JaMarcus Russel for the Raiders QB job, so he has to fucking suck major ass.

Seriously, Alexei Ramirez should have walked home with this award and by a huge margin. The guy had an outstanding year defensively. At the very least, Cliff Pennington could have taken the Gold Glove home. Hell, the A's were downright horrible offensively and still managed a .500 record on the year. You know how many A's won Gold Gloves? Zero! How good of a defensive team do you have to have to obtain a .500 record when your best hitter is Ryan Sweeney??????

Much like most of the non baseball-stupid world I'm angry that Jeter won the award. Not just because an inferior defender won the award again (I believe Eric Chavez won 4 Gold Gloves on the A's and he didn't even have to get out of his hospital bed). I am angry at this bullshit Derek Jeter/Yankees bias that causes baseball writers to swoon. I dislike Derek Jeter thoroughly.


Monday, November 8, 2010

Freddy "Dirty" Sanchez Gets His Groove On



While enjoying lunch in my luxurious office I was surfing around about the baseball playoffs and found this absolute gem of a youtube video. I'm not judging at all because I know if I just made it into the playoffs or won a series or something I would be doing the exact same thing (just of course with much better dancing skills).

So I felt as the classy blog we are here at YSSW we owe it to ourselves to comment on this video of Freddy getting down with his bad self. I'll start with my observations:

1. I know I was very sad to discover that the woman who had the boots with the fur on that Big Fred was dancing with was actually his wife.

2. I couldn't help but notice that none of the wifes/side girlfriends had on real pants.

3. Aaron Rowand is a great supporting cast.

I know when I go crazy on the dance floor my wife usually just ignores me to the extent of pretending not to know me. Just another reason not to allow cameras in the locker room after a certain point in the night.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

No Love For Bobby V?

While this is my first article in a while due to laziness and not having time to write because of school/work, traveling, and softball 5 nights a week, I make an appearance to bring up my disappointment. I may get a lot of grief for writing this article, but who could not love this man?



As many probably know (many as in the 10 people that even read this) that picture is when Bobby Valentine was kicked out of a game one day and returned in his amazing disguise. Seriously how awesome is it that he gets kicked out but tries to come back after altering his appearance!

As a closet Brewers fan I was really hoping that Bobby would come manage the Brewers! Not because I thought he gave them the best chance to win, but because his humor, shenanigans, overall dickheadness would be good for Milwaukee.

To clear things up, most of you know I am a huge Cubs fan. It's hard to keep my loyalty. Not because the team constantly loses and I'm a fair weather fan. There are many reasons to hate the Cubs, but that's a whole other article (top 3 reasons: I hate other Cubs fans, Jim Hendry/Andy McFAIL, & Wrigley Field/tickets.) There is at least one person that can relate to hating a team because of constant fails and stupid moves. Maybe a fan that likes the Vikings......A team that trades a 3rd round pick for a former fan favorite, then releases him because he just doesn't fit the team. Well Mr. Childress, you're an idiot.

Getting back to Bobby, I wish he would have received more consideration for the Cubs. Better yet going to the Brewers would have been a dream. I had big plans if Bobby were to be hired by either. I was going to get a Bobby Valentine shirt (I'm too cheap to get a jersey) and wear the classic sunglasses/fake nose combo like so:




Believe me I think the Cubs got it right. The Brewers may have too. I will be the first person to second guess either hiring. In Cubs terms, I was probably the only person in the world that wanted Bobby as their manager, and when Quade fails, everyone will say Sandberg was the man. WRONG!

I do think Quade will be successful, but it will take a new GM to create that success. Hendry needs to go, so lets start rounding up the candidates for next GM! Keep Valentine on speed dial Rickets family.

Elijah Dukes Hates his Kids. Now Making Efforts to Kill Them

A recent ESPN.com report indicated that Elijah Dukes has been arrested again.

"Authorities say former Major League Baseball player Elijah Dukes has been jailed in Tampa on charges related to allegedly failing to pay child support."

It seems Elijah is just taking a more deliberate route to complete the journey of killing his own children. Withholding his child support payments, Elijah is clearly hoping that his kids will will fall victim to poverty and be unable to feed themselves. Without food, they will surely starve, absolving Elijah of his fatherly duties... O wait, he has 4 other children with 3 other women to take care of. Can Elijah Dukes brainstorm 5 different ways to murder his own children? Based on his first threat against them left on a voicemail, I'm not so sure:

"Hey, dawg. It’s on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain’t even bullshitting. Your kids too, dawg. It don’t even matter to me who is in the car with you . . . all I know is . . . when I see your motherfucking ass riding, dawg, it’s on. As a matter of fact, I’m coming to your motherfucking house.

Just in case she failed to understand his intentions, he also sent her a photo of a gun."

Good Luck, Elijah! Hopefully without all those kids around you will be free to yuck it up (pictured not yucking it up: Josh Willingham) more with Nyjer Morgan in the outfield.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Bunting Strategy

In the top of the 7th in tonight's World Series, the Giants had runners on first and second with no one out and Aubrey Huff at the plate. All of my past baseball sensibilities say that this is a clear bunt situation. Even after finding out that Huff had not bunted all year, the classic baseball mind thinks that you have to bunt here. Hell, a fly ball or a slow grounder through the drawn in infield will score at least a run.

The Sabermetric side of me was screaming the opposite. Don't ever bunt! It is almost never beneficial for your team to give away an out.

I know most of you would probably agree with the classic baseball stance of bunting right here, but let me try to explain the Sabermetric side. After giving up the out with Huff, a batter who had been doing well, you have Pat Burrell (huge playoff slump), Edgar Renteria (hot hitting this series), and Aaron Rowand (he has been bad for 3 seasons now).

The quite likely scenario of Pat Burrell striking out occurs (Cliff Lee was on the mound and mowing down batters at this point). What should have occurred next was pitching around (not intentionally walking, but pitching carefully) Edgar Renteria. This would have taken the bat out of two of your hotter hitters in Huff and Renteria and put the onus of driving in runs on the horribly slumping Burrell and the guy you don't trust to start any other game this series in Rowand.

We all know what really happened, Renteria was pitched to and jacked a 3 run shot, but I'm saying that if the Rangers were to play that one correctly they should have been out of the inning with no damage. Bunting in that situation is incorrect because of the next hitters in your lineup. I would much rather have three chances of Huff, Burrell, and Renteria trying to drive guys from first and second in then Burrell and Rowand with men on second and third.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Nate Schierholtz' Brothers

Yesterday, during Game 4, Tim McCarver had some interesting things to say about Nate Schierholtz. Allow me to paraphrase his comments below:

Tim McCarver: "I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. Something stupid. You know most father's that are skateboarders tend to have sons that are skateboarders (Editor's Note: He actually said that last sentence. I'm not sure where he pulled that wisdom from, most likely out of his ass).

...
but unlike his father, who was a skateboarder, Nate Schierholtz is a baseball player." (said that line too)

"He also has a younger brother, Vai who plays at Air Force"

(I thought McCarver said that his brother's name was Vibe, which sparked my interest in writing this. Even though my brief internet search found that his brother's true name was Vai it leads me to the same question: How can you name one son something boring like Nate and the other Vai???? I don't understand how that is possible. Sure, the father's name is also Vai, but if that name wasn't good enough for the first son, why is it good enough for the 2nd? This is similar to naming one of your sons Joe and the other one Crazy Horse. I absolutely hate when parents name one of their kids something wacky. It means that Wacky son is thinking, what the fuck drugs were the parents on when they named me, and boring son to think "wow, I have a fucking lame name, I must be a complete suckass".)


Also, during my short stint with the Google search, I found they have another brother named Cainan! Cainan, Vai... and Nate. Oh, and Cainan is their families turd. Not only is he not a successful baseball player, his only available news is that he was charged with a DUI, hit and run, and everyone in the family feels very ashamed of him.