Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Elijah Dukes Hates his Kids. Now Making Efforts to Kill Them

A recent ESPN.com report indicated that Elijah Dukes has been arrested again.

"Authorities say former Major League Baseball player Elijah Dukes has been jailed in Tampa on charges related to allegedly failing to pay child support."

It seems Elijah is just taking a more deliberate route to complete the journey of killing his own children. Withholding his child support payments, Elijah is clearly hoping that his kids will will fall victim to poverty and be unable to feed themselves. Without food, they will surely starve, absolving Elijah of his fatherly duties... O wait, he has 4 other children with 3 other women to take care of. Can Elijah Dukes brainstorm 5 different ways to murder his own children? Based on his first threat against them left on a voicemail, I'm not so sure:

"Hey, dawg. It’s on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain’t even bullshitting. Your kids too, dawg. It don’t even matter to me who is in the car with you . . . all I know is . . . when I see your motherfucking ass riding, dawg, it’s on. As a matter of fact, I’m coming to your motherfucking house.

Just in case she failed to understand his intentions, he also sent her a photo of a gun."

Good Luck, Elijah! Hopefully without all those kids around you will be free to yuck it up (pictured not yucking it up: Josh Willingham) more with Nyjer Morgan in the outfield.

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