Third Base: The "Hurtz" Corner

I'm not sure if it is something in the water or a different breed of player, but by my count there have been 9 third basemen hurt already this year. While I am not a doctor, I do have a knack for being right most of the time. So I will take a look at all of these injuries and try to determine if/how they could have been avoided.

Evan Longoria (Oblique): It's hard to knock a guy who came out young, took a team friendly contract, and continued to put up all-star numbers. However, it's not hard to knock a guy with a mullet. In my expert opinion, if you strain your oblique, you are an idiot. He obviously didn't stretch enough pregame or was having a pillow fight with Brandon Inge. You swing a baseball bat for a living. Shouldn't your oblique be in great shape?

David Freese (Hand): Tough break for a young up and coming kid. Tough break for Cooly as he traded for Freese minutes after it happened. "It didn't feel good, it didn't sound good," Freese said after the game. Well no sh!t. You opened yourself into the pitch and left your hand on the bat instead of taking it on the shoulder. Thanks for ruining my NL team.

Nick Punto (Hernia/Hamstring): After having off season surgery for an abdominal tear, Punto decided to go balls out the other day hurt his hamstring. Good thing everyone I know hates him. Good thing he sucks.

Pablo Sandoval (Wrist): Early spring training reports talked about how the Kung Fu Panda worked out for 11 hours a day in the off-season. I wonder how many push-ups he did each day? Doing push-ups and weighing 300+ pounds can wear down and weaken your wrists. Nice job Pablo, you got in shape but suck again.

Donnie Murphy (Wrist): Who is this? I don't care about players who are hitting .103. He doesn't deserve a picture.

Scott Rolen (Shoulder): When you have been playing baseball for 16 years, the shoulder is bound to go out. But 16 baseball years for Rolen are like cat years, you have to multiply them by 4 to get the real number. Rolen is old and it is showing. The Reds may consider putting him down.

Melvin Mora (Old): He was in a car accident during spring training, has 34 kids, and may be older than Julio Franco. He had a foot injury throughout most of April which I can only attribute to osteoporosis (spelled it right the first time). *See Rolen/Reds for solution to the Mora problem.

Ryan Zimmerman (Rectus Muscle): Is this muscle really in the stomach? Doesn't sound like it. His story kind of mirrors Longoria's. Great player, took less money, tears his rectus. . . Not sure how you stretch out a rectus, not even going to try on this one. Kids, avoid tearing your rectus.

Chipper Jones (It's coming): This is the year that Chipper implodes on the field. It may not have happened yet, but mark my words, this is it.