Extreme Hate Edition: Gerardo Parra

I have never tried to hide my true feelings for Gerardo Parra. Just look at him. He looks like someone from a JR Tolkien series that stole a Dbacks jersey and somehow made his way onto the field. Not to mention, since I am your resident Diamondbacks expert, and #1 fan, I will tell you who you can and cannot hate in Arizona.

While my feelings about Gerardo are nothing new, I found myself at an all-time low when I tried to theorize that maybe Juan Pierre would be a better option for the Diamondbacks left field situation. However, let's not forget, Juan Pierre is never a better option. . .than anyone. . .ever. I actually tried to argue with people on the comment section of the Arizona Diamondbacks beat writer's blog about justifying Pierre over Parra. That is when I knew. . . I had just hit a new level of hatred for a baseball player. Did I really just say that I wanted a slap hitting left fielder that can't throw the ball farther than my sister? Do I really want someone who doesn't know how to properly size their clothing or own a mirror or wear their hat correctly?

Maybe it is my resentment against the Diamondbacks for letting Conor Jackson go after his losing battle with Valley Fever. Maybe it's the fact that Adam Dunn never panned out. Maybe I still feel that hate for whoever plays LF ever since Eric Byrnes left the Dbacks to go play softball in Seattle. Couple that with the fact that Parra hasn't done anything offensively in Arizona in his first three years, you get a deep down loathing for someone I have never met.

Ever since arriving in Arizona three years ago, Parra has managed to hit 16 home runs. While that may seem awesome to the average fan, please remember that he is hitting in Phoenix. Chase Field ranks second in the league in altitude and the Diamondbacks have been ranked top five in home runs the past few years. Any one of the writers here at StartWedman, aside from Cooly, could hit more than 16 home runs at Chase Field in a given year, let alone three years combined. His .292 batting average is extremely deceiving as well. It might look nice, but A) he chokes in pressure situations, B) he batted 8th most of the season in front of the pitcher, and C) he looks like a gremlin.

My main argument against these bloggers was how bad Parra's defense was this year. While they all argued that he has a cannon of an arm (and I will agree with that), I wasn't sure if they watched the games I watched all year. With my MLB.tv package, I was easily able to see more than 60 Diamondbacks games this year and during each one, I ended up tweeting to most of the Dbacks personnel trying to get rid of Parra. He has 13 errors over his first three seasons which by itself, is not very good. For comparison sake, Nate McLouth has 13 errors in his 7 year career. What this stat doesn't take into account are the mental errors. At least once a week there was a Diamondbacks highlight of Parra running in circles looking for the ball in the air. Multiple times did he dive for a ball that was well out of reach. TERRIBLE, AWFUL, defense from someone that everyone seems to love but me.

The worst part about it is that fact that he is only 24 years old and there is no end in site. The Diamondbacks top LF prospect is still 2+ years away from the majors and the Dbacks brass seems to love him. Maybe it's because he is marketable to the surrounding community, but it is not for his baseball ability. So please, give me anyone else. . .even Juan Pierre. I can't go through another season with Gizmo for a left fielder.

Coming Soon: Ronny Cedeno